2018 is already well underway. We are in February and I stuck to my resolutions so far. My body is thanking me. But one thing that I have been doing for the past month gave me pause. I started to really « hear » my inner voice. Now I will stop and listen and ask myself where are those thoughts coming from.
My inner voice says things like:
– look at those legs, so fat.
-you suck for not doing the 7km run you set yourself to do today (I made it ‘only’ to 5k)
-you can’t be successful at this, you are not smart enough
-These people are looking down on you because you are not as good looking/ smart/ rich…
After a few weeks of really listening I asked myself what experiences in my life programmed me to think that way. I had a breakthrough (I will pass you the childhood traumas, we all have them…) and I realized that no one has ever told me anything as mean as the things I am telling myself. I was my own worst enemy! I was my own « Mean Girl » . I made up all those worst case scenarios in order to convince myself to not be or do the best I deserve.
I analyzed my life and realized that most things that I set myself to do I succeeded at. I made a list and I started to think that I would congratulate and cheers on my friends if they achieved any of those. So why cannot I cheer on myself?
We hear a lot the « self-helpy » message ‘love yourself’ and I always found it corny. But in some way this is my intention for this year. I want to become my best friend, give myself the pep talks and encouragements I need, the pats on the back I deserve.
I recommend that you start hearing your inner voice to see how you are treating yourself. If a friend was to talk to you that way, would you still hang with them? Make a list of all the great things you have done, and congratulate yourself, buy yourself a bouquet or a card to mark all these great achievements !
This is a powerful form of self care and we all need some in our lives.